Urgently Required – Scriptwriter

Sad Tiger Woods
Bye bye girlfriends

I need a scriptwriter to script apology speech for my personal use.  Script should be developed around following points:

  1. Though I cheated on my wife, still it should reflect how good I am as a husband and father.
  2. This apology is mainly for my fans and not for my family. I can afford to lose my family but not my fans.
  3. Script should be strong enough to gather some sympathy.
  4. Include comments on expressions I need to give while reading.
  5. Script should be lengthy, boring and hard to understand.
  6. Use of dictionary words is appreciable.
  7. First few pages should only talk about my success stories and good side of me.
  8. Avoid sentences like “I will not cheat again”, “I am sorry for my affairs”, “I have changed” which will end my future scope for affairs.

Preference:

Preference will be given to person who is experienced in extra marital affairs and understand the need of a woman in life other than wife. Writer suffering from Sex Addiction will have first preference.

Cost: 10% of my income from advertisement.

Interested scriptwriters please contact me at tigerwoods@cheat.com

Tiger Woods.

4 thoughts on “Urgently Required – Scriptwriter

  1. hey why u r making fun of us all the script writers… he he!
    anyways… it’s a good fun to read this post ! keep it up

    Like

  2. Of course not making fun of script writers ;). I am sure these guys hire script writers for such purposes. Dont think they actually can deliver such a good speech 😀

    Like

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